Immortal Pleasures by V. Castro – Review

Published: April 16, 2024

Publisher: Del Rey

Series: N/A

Genre: Fantasy

Pages: 304 (Kindle)

My Rating: 2 Stars

A copy of this book was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Synopsis:
An ancient Aztec vampire roams the modern world in search of vengeance and love in this seductive dark fantasy from the author of The Haunting of Alejandra.

Hundreds of years ago, she was known as La Malinche: a Nahua woman who translated for the conquistador Cortés. In the centuries since, her name has gone down in infamy as a traitor. But no one ever found out what happened to La Malinche after Cortés destroyed her people.

In the ashes of the empire, she was reborn as Malinalli, an immortal vampire. And she has become an avenger of conquered peoples, traveling the world to reclaim their stolen artifacts and return them to their homelands.

But she has also been in search of something more, for this ancient vampire still has deeply human longings for pleasure and for love.

When she arrives in Dublin in search of a pair of Aztec skulls—artifacts intimately connected to her own dark history—she finds something else: two men who satisfy her cravings in very different ways.

For the first time she meets a mortal man—a horror novelist—who is not repelled by her strange condition but attracted by it. But there is also another man, an immortal like herself, who shares the darkness in her heart.

Now Malinalli is on the most perilous adventure of all: a journey into her own desires.

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I was so looking forward to this book because the synopsis is incredible and the cover is pretty awesome but BOY, those Goodreads ratings really made me reevaluate those feelings. I don’t generally read reviews before picking up a book, but I did take a look at the rating and things weren’t looking good for this, so I adjusted my expectations a bit. What I wasn’t expecting was a stream of consciousness writing style, coupled with oddly graphic sex, and an aimless plot.

Immortal pleasures follows Malinalli, better known as La Malinche, who was viewed as a traitor by her people because she translated for Cortes when he invaded her homeland in Mexico. Rather than merely dying after contracting smallpox, she is turned into a vampire. When we first meet her, it is the present day and she’s flying to Ireland and the UK to purchase some artifacts that belonged to her people. Along the way, despite 500 years of being alone and only having brief flings, she’s smitten by a human man and neglects all her work she came so far for. What follows is numerous explicit scenes that are described in a manner that is both clinical and graphic with the strangest descriptive choices I have ever seen. I enjoy a good smutty romance, but this was really something else – I laughed out loud and actually stopped to read a few choice lines to my poor husband who is probably seriously questioning my reading taste. It was wildly different from the usual descriptors, which was fresh but really didn’t work for me.

I enjoyed the concept of the story, but again was perplexed and amused by the idea of Hernan Cortes (Spanish invader of Mexico) and John Hawkins (English slave trader) becoming vampires and then… STARTING AN ANTI-AGING SKINCARE EMPIRE. I was yet again surprised when Judas Iscariot, betrayer of Jesus, shows up (also a vampire) going by the name of Alexander J (so edgy) and hunting down murderous vampires as sort of a penance. It’s also heavily implied that Christ himself may have actually been a vampire. I mean, I can’t make this shit up – it was hilarious. Oh, and by the way, Malinalli immediately falls for Alexander J and thinks to herself that she is most definitely in love despite having known him for approximately 10 minutes.

I did not particularly enjoy the stream of consciousness style of the narrative but I was so intrigued that despite this and some of the more avant-garde word choices, I kept reading. The portions following Malinalli in her human years were actually really interesting and I enjoyed those chapters, but the present day chapters felt so aimless, despite having a clear goal written out. I ended up skimming the last 15% or so because I really just wanted to see how things wrapped up, but wow. This was a memorable book, but not in a good way and I don’t recommend it. I am just perplexed by the whole experience. I would encourage you to go check out the Goodreads reviews, some of which consist mostly of the choicest direct quotes from the book.