This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara – Review

Published: April 1, 2025

Publisher: Union Square & Co.

Series: N/A

Genre: Fantasy

Pages: 412 (Kindle)

My Rating: 5 Stars

Synopsis:
She knows the taste of death. He’ll stoke her hunger for it.

Eighteen-year-old Sarai doesn’t know why someone tried to kill her four years ago, but she does know that her case was closed without justice. Hellbent on vengeance, she returns to the scene of the crime as a Petitor, a prosecutor who can magically detect lies, and is assigned to work with Tetrarch Kadra. Ice-cold and perennially sadistic, Kadra is the most vicious of the four judges who rule the land – and the prime suspect in a string of deaths identical to Sarai’s attempted murder.

Certain of his guilt, Sarai begins a double life: solving cases with Kadra by day and plotting his ruin by night. But Kadra is charming and there’s something alluring about the wrath he wields against the city’s corruption. So when the evidence she finds embroils her in a deadly political battle, Sarai must also fight against her attraction to Kadra – because despite his growing hold on her heart, his voice matches the only memory she has of her assailant…

A dazzling Ancient Rome-inspired romantasy debut, This Monster of Mine is a bloodbath of manipulation, deception, and forbidden love.

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I stumbled across this book while working on my 2025 Book Release spreadsheet and was immediately intrigued by the synopsis. I was so excited to read this that I actually purchased the ebook, which I almost never do for new releases and I’m so glad I did because this was brilliant. I couldn’t put it down and it’s definitely making my list of Best Books of 2025!

This Monster of Mine follows Sarai, a poor girl who has been eking out an existence in a northern village, hoping to save enough money to pay her way through Petitor training in the capital city of Edessa. A petitor is essentially a legal assistant to one of the four Tetrarchs of Edessa and they have the ability to see memories, tell truth from lies, and sometimes harbor other minor magical abilities.  Sarai’s options for livelihood are limited thanks to a nearly successful murder attempt in Edessa several years prior that left her horribly scarred and with mangled hands. She has little in the way of memories of the fall from the Sidran Tower, but she remembers a beautiful voice speaking as she faded towards death. When the four previous Petitors were either murdered or fled Edessa, the requirement to complete the training was waived in favor of finding a candidate with the right skills, which opened the door for Sarai to achieve her dream and hopefully find out who pushed her from the Sidran Tower all those years ago.

I expected a mystery and definitely got one. What I didn’t quite expect was how dark this book started off and then how much existential yearning there would be for the entire novel. I loved every single page of it! Sarai is assigned to Tetrarch Kadra, who is known for his violent approach to dealing with crimes, but is rabidly supported by those in his quadrant. Sarai is introduced to this firsthand when he tests her at the candidacy ceremony and she insists on reviewing the memories of a criminal rather than simply burning him at Kadra’s orders. Both he and Sarai are wonderfully grey characters – while they may technically be getting justice, it isn’t always following the letter of the law. They go after the guilds, the powerful, the rich and as a result cause all sorts of turmoil within the city and for themselves. Even though Sarai believes that Kadra was responsible for her near death she begins to respect him and even harbor feelings toward him as the story progresses.

I can’t recommend this book enough if you’re looking for a solid political fantasy with a mystery element and so much yearning that it could drown you. Even if you don’t love romance, it’s not the main focus of the story at all, but for those of us who do like a nice (dark) romantic subplot you won’t be disappointed. This Monster of Mine was amazing and I can’t wait to see what this author has in store for readers next!